face warp

2 stupid photos of us to occupy this mouldy, lame, dead space.
TEEHEE

Sucks to be me because I'M ITCHING TO GO OUT AND PLAYYYYYY WITH MY BBGZ!!!
HEHE HI FRIENDS I LOVE YOU ALL MWAH MWAH


Yes bb I love you too :)

fickle

Fickle as I am............................ I'm staying in DID. But this is after tons of discussions with my fam and W.

Since I'm stuck with it and its already a year since I've been here, I shouldn't waste all the time and energy spent on this :)
Off to draw/say hi to 3ds max :)

Hello W you're behind me Yay!!! *hug*

'No' in my face

Okay so NP did not reply and it is impossible to make an exception. No more Early Childhood Education for me. Still do not want to stay in design though. Am trying for NYP's biz courses no matter how lousy the school is said to be. Its the course. Its the student. Not the school.

I know things will get rough. I know I need to try again. I need to get up.
He's here, but we're not talking. W, I love you.

Decisions

Okay..... 3rd post but yep, so much on my mind I need this space.

Decided to try to appeal so fingers crossed I get a place in Early Childhood Education @ NP!!!! Really like kids so yep. Decide to go there :) Because I can do what I like: Writing essays and yet working together with kids. Remember when I was young I loved to pretend I was a kindergarten teacher :)

Really hope I'm making the right decision and that they'll accept me because I really don't want to continue in Interior Design.......... I'd rather put my brains to good use. I shall shamelessy ask for another chance from the gods because I didn't cherish what I did have the chance for...............

Pray for me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
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Yet I'll miss DID because of well, the people and W. DID's so time-consuming I know W and I wouldn't have much time together. For my future.......... I have no choice :(
I really hope NP will accept me because ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I want to study. Never imagined myself saying this EVER.

Shall take this as a test for W and I if I actually get accepted.
AND I REALLY REALLY HOPE I WILL!!!! Fingers crossed!!!!!

But well IF I don't............ then I guess that's just too bad for me.
I'll still keep my fingers crossed though :)
Off to nap......... need to wake up and produce some drawings for consultation tomorrow.
Toods~

Postman Pat

:) Sudden burst of happiness hehehe. Actually I was happy since 12:43pm just now~~~~
Because sombohdee came with a sunflower and a postman hat HEHE SO CUTE!!!!!!
*inserts truckloads of hearts* *throws confetti* :) :) :)

Although I think I flunked the class test pretty badly ha ha ha expected. Its 3ds max how can anyone finish that crappy dancing building(yes it is really called dancing building what a stupid name zz) in 2 hours?!?!?!?!??? IMPORSEEBER.

I love W. Not because he tolerates my bullshit(I tolerate his too ok!!!), not because he cooks for me like ALL THE TIME and its nice I shall make him cook for my pbts soon hehe :), not because he always helps me with my school work, not because he always comes over to do work with me so I'm more motivated, not because he's my friend when I can't meet my dearest friends (:(), not because I know he'll stick to me like super glue and not leave me(at least for now), not because he loves me, not because (inserts a gazillion other stuff he did for me), but because I just do.

Everyone knows I'm not the cheesy type, but I'm like becoming worse and worse. That sucks because welllllllllllllllllllllllll.......... bye independence.

Anyways that silly thing keeps wanting to peep he he he because he's beside me but MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay so what I want to say is that I really never felt like this before. I feel different. Like I want to marry W HAHAHAHAHA WTF WHY I SO THICK SKIN.

As all of you know, if there is anyone here at all, my last relationship was disastrous. Literally. I was constantly unhappy and crying. Actually I was crying all the time. I wasn't happy from the start. Many warned me, but yeah I didn't listen. I don't regret, because I know that was a lesson. Learnt it the hard way. That even if you give your all, the other half isn't obliged to give you his all too. But I didn't give my all too lah HAHAHA but still........ you get my point.

Everything changed since I met W. Like really hehe. I was happier, and I still am. And I know that he loves me :) Did so many things that I didn't even feel like doing in the past. Like cooking? A full meal! Couldn't even be bothered to enter the kitchen in the past. Except to cook instant mee lol. And I did so much planning on his birthday too :) Although we were shit busy at that time. Yeah so.... I really don't know how long we'll last but I sincerely hope its forever. Of course every couple has their problems and all that shitload of crap. But I'm willing to make it all work with you :)
Thank you for all you've done and what you haven't done/are going to do HEHEHE :)
And of course, sorry. For being a bitch hehehehehehe.
The bitch loves you :)

I'm sorry if you are not W and you think this post is cheesy-overload. Sometimes you just gotta live with it HA HA.

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Still in school and its already 21:16 :(
Floorplans, sections, elevations to be up by 8am tomorrow. Means no sleep yet again~~~~~~
So looking forward to the holidays already!!!!!!
Friends please forgive me for being so busy :( I want to meet you babies as soon as the hols start!!!!!!

Sudden feel to blog again hahahaha. Shall blog like a thousand times a day during the hols!!!! HAHA JOKING.
BYE CHUBBY BUNNIES XXXXXXXXXXXX

problem

I still don't know what I want in life. Everything's so confusing.......... so.. foreign for some reason I don't even know myself. Why the hell is this happening to me?

Am supposed to be drawing out my floorplans now but look what I'm doing........ Really don't know how much longer I can hold on. Because I'm doing something I don't like.
Anyways.... at least I have W. But everything still sucks because I don't get to see my friends at all. Such an unhealthy lifestyle.

Right now I'm thinking: I work so hard and all I get are grades, average I might say, and that's all I'd ever get. No time to go out with friends becaus everything requires consistency, late nights/no nights at all, $$$$$$ to buy materials............ The list really IS never-ending. Nothing good comes out of it except that I get grades to go up to next year and suffer all over again? Is that even considered good?

Should I learn to love it, or do something about it and study something else I like?
Right now I don't have that many options....... Right.

Ok I noticed I've changed the way I blog. This is weird. Maybe only for this post. Because I don't even know what I'm doing now. Ha ha ha

3rd W month

happy 3rd baby.
love you more each day :)

do you know

i'm cool like that

came up with this myself.
fuck you if you wna copy and use la ok? hehe
too free alr.

baby says im rlly too free.
got so much to do i went to play with illustrator and make icecream
HEHEHEHEHE BYE BITCHES X

bee zee

in case any of you(if there is anyone at all) miss me...........
here's a picture of me in waitress-formal-wear sometime back ha ha ha

okayyyyy so i won't be blogging for quite awhile :(
its only the start of the term and assignments are piling up like rapidly.

a gazillion things to do and today's the only day i can rest.
i really want to blog well sooooooooooon coz i miss blogging hehehe.
shall really relax and update during the coming hols!!!!
already looking forward to it.
theres camp! then i may work, so i have $$$$ HEHE

anyway............ what i read on ohsofickle like 5mins ago:

1. Old Fears Surface.
It's to be expected that being in an intimate relationship will inevitable bring up fears and challenges from the past. These might include fearing not being good enough, attractive enough, wealthy enough or even feelings of abandonment. If fears are not expected, looked at and healed, they interfere in some way or another with the health of every relationship.

Ask yourself if your fears are "true" or are you just making "stories" up in your head. If you are creating those "stories" and there's no basis of truth to them, then change your thinking.

You may not have healed your broken heart from past relationships that ended and you find it very difficult to trust your current partner or open your heart completely to him or her. We suggest that you stop living from the hurt of those past relationships and bring yourself into the present moment, without continuing the "stories" of the past. Commit to starting over, allowing your fears to be there but reminding yourself that this is a new day.

2. Not Making their Relationship a Priority.
Many couples take each other for granted and don't give their relationship the attention it needs most of the time. The lack of closeness and connection can be overwhelming and can cause great loneliness. Make your relationship a priority in your life. Set aside time everyday to connect with your partner.

We believe that sex happens long before the bedroom. It starts all day long when you have thoughts about your partner--Are these thoughts positive or negative? It continues when you come together--Are you happy to see each other and express love and appreciation or do you great each other with a laundry list of chores, things to be done or grievances?

3. Unfaithfulness
....is a supreme destroyer of relationships...nothing really wounds a person so much as when his/her partner isn't happy enough at home that he/she decides to go looking for what's missing in other places. Cheating on your lover is probably the coldest, most hurtful thing you can do to a person and usually results in nigh-unfixable breakups...so the best way to deal with the problem is to never have it in the first place.

4. Not healing your heart after a previous relationship breakup
Many people go from relationship to relationship without truly healing their hearts. They never discover what went wrong in their previous relationship and what they could have done differently. They keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again and always expect a different outcome.

We suggest that you take the time to heal your broken heart and your attachment to being a victim, in being right or whatever holds you to a previous relationship. Spend some energy in taking responsibility for what happened, forgiving yourself and your previous partner, and deciding what you want to change in your life.

5. No excitement
Allowing a relationship to get boring and stale is perhaps one of the most tragic ways that one can end, as it's pretty much just a case of so little going on that a person doesn't really care anymore. Lack of spontanaeity and "spice" is a relationship's enemy, although you don't have to freak out if you aren't doing something new every hour. Spend time together, and do things that are fun for both of you! It's crazy to simply let a relationship "reach its expiration date."

6. You compare your partners to others.
If you are always measuring your partner up against other people, you should probably stop and measure your relationship. Everyone has attractive and unattractive aspects and a good relationship evolves in spite of them not because of them.

7. You give, give, give or take, take, take.
All relationships must, by necessity, provide mutual benefit. It does not mean absolute equality but if you find that you are no longer deriving any benefit from the relationship, move on.

The reason relationships end. i guess the first reason is what most of the couples quarrel over?

okay off to surf the internet and i shall turn in!!! wheeeeeeeeeeee finally some sleep!! :)
hello w i love you!!!

2011

i just felt that i must blog because the date is so chio. hehehe
1/1/11

i shall dedicate my first post of the year to my awesome friends, family and boyfriend.
happy 2011 babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥
its gonna be one helluva great year!

X