happiness is a direction, not a destination

(\_(
( . .)♥
c(")(")

i need to stop crying but

my life's in a mess.

family. yeah same thing. thinking about how i'm supposed to take care of my brother next time when my parents grow old. he can't hear that well so he's definitely gonna meet some challenges in life.

always being blamed for doing something wrong. just yesterday my dad asked me to photoshop some poster for his work. he said its in the folder named '111'. clicked on it, and changed the view to the larger thumbnails for better viewing. he said i clicked too fast and he already saw the file he was looking for but i clicked away.
does changing view to thumbnails DELETE a file? no.
yep he wants me to help him and blames me for something i've not done wrong/at all.

then he shouts at me first and blames me that i clicked too fast and i shouted back.
come on. grow up. i know better. i've been using photoshop since eons and i know that changing views doesn't delete a folder. and i've only clicked in that folder because he INSISTS it is in there.

always being called ugly. yeah i am ugly but i am the quoted 'ugly' product of you and dad, mom. everything i do is not up to standard. everything i wear is ugly and tasteless. highwaisted shorts on me are ugly. my hair is ugly because i have a fringe and it is covering my face. well the ironic part is, it is because i am 'ugly' as you say i am, so i choose to use my fringe to cover my face. and my signature *cover face* pose is yep you're right because i'm ugly. pimples? yep genes mom, genes.

i blame myself for being affected by you, thus resulting in my low self-esteem. but then again, i only have myself to blame. i wasn't born petite as you would have loved your daughter to be, and neither was i the prettiest one in the family and in comparison with your friends' daughters. i was always the ugly one.

i was the last one to learn how to write my chinese name maternal side, the last one thought of paternal side. never was i showered with love. gifts yes, but not as much as all my other cousins from both sides. never was i loved in the whole, big what-you-call 'family'.

friends. i never ever have time for my secondary school friends because school work is always too much to allow me to have a life. so time-consuming and $ consuming i don't have extra cash to go out. i feel like i'm such a loser missing out on friends' birthday celebrations because of schoolwork. i still am so apologetic to liting. i know how great my friends are and i genuinely appreciate all they've done for me. because its so much more than i've done for them. i'm such a bad friend.

pbts, 2 best friends in the world. never ever anyone better. not even time for them. i'm trying. maybe this year i'll do better and have some time for you girls during the holidays. i'm sorry babes. but i really am trying.

school. frankly i haven't been doing my best yet because i'm lazy. and because i'm lazy i don't deserve very good grades. however i've been trying harder these days and my interest has been increasing. i want to do well in school for myself. and also to show everyone that thinks i'm stupid that i'm not. i've been doing better in school considering the grades i've got back and that year 2 is supposed to be a tougher year compared to year 1. got the first A+ in my poly life, and the worst i got was a C+. bad i know, but the worst i got was a C last year.

but so what? i don't dare to show my results to my parents, because i know they'll just blame me for getting a C+ even though i've improved. and fyi, C+ isn't a fail grade. its a 60-70.

love. i can say i've got the best boyfriend in the world because he treats me good. not because he'll offer to pay sometimes for my shopping, not because he always snatches the food bills away and insists to pay, but because of his heart. never met someone who loved me as much as/more than i love him. but i finally met him. sad to say we're almost always quarrelling. way too much i'm getting tired. not of him but the quarrels. i'm sure he's the one i want for life. but yet these quarrels tell me otherwise. maybe i met the right one at the wrong time.

my life is falling apart. i feel like there's no meaning to it anymore. not going to commit suicide, but i really feel like giving up on life altogether. just run away from all my commitments and be free. i need a little getaway. for at least a month.
i'll be okay. there's always that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

we look happy.
so much quarrels these days i dont even know myself anymore.
its like im going crazy. i feel lost.
i hope we'll be good.

anything can happen but theres one thing that will never change.
my heart will always be yours.

$

AND THEN I BOUGHT SOMETHING ONLINE AGAIN.
ok i actually think i'm a very boring person so theres nothing much to read about my life.

insane

Everything that cropped up today definitely made me go crazy for a while.
A little sad and alone now because I have quite a number of things to do and yet I don't know where to start from. Suxxxxxxxxxxx

I need to buy something. Shopping does keep me sane.

Fairytale

I loved today.
How we ran together because we noticed the light had a sensor so it goes brighter when someone walks past.

I loved yesterday.
How you insisted that I must wear your plaid shirt and you wore black and denim.
Back to how we were about a little more than half a year ago........ :')
Just wearing the opposite. Hehehehehe


Can't believe you actually got everything exactly the same except you ordered pink daisies this time round :)

A little more than half a year ago, yesterday, today, in the future.
I loved you, love you, and will always love you :)

Fuckin' Perfect

To you :) and you and you and you.
To everyone that thinks you're not good enough.

For me.
This song is just Fuckin' Perfect.

7th

I shall draft this post at about 11plus because I know the upload's gna take a super long time.
Well, I guess words don't matter that much, and what matters is that we're still together now and we're gonna go on strong :)

Thank you for today, and thank you for Pinkie!!
2nd time trying flower attack and you've failed hehehehehehe your girlfriend's too smart! OK ENOUGH OF SELF-PRAISE. I think I'm awesome :)

OK LA thank you for always being there, annoying or not hehe. I love you W!

new desktop background

Since............. yesterday :) So cute!!!!!!!!!!
And I'm so happy because I ordered a hello kitty silicon phone cover and
its on its way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't love HK, I just think its cute hehehehehe.
Ok, toods!

GUYSSSSSSSSSS REAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD

Sitting on the fence

If I were to be able to vote now, I'd be stuck. Just saying.

And I'm lazy to start on my homework. Just saying again. Teehee :)

Elections

Ok today shall be a day I set into deep thoughts...........................

Disclaimer: The text below are of my own thoughts and opinions. No offense to anyone out there. Any comments made was just references to the points. All videos are not my own and no infringement of copyright is intended. Any statement said was just for the sake of supporting my stand.

WHATS UP WITH TIN PEI LING AH SERIOUSLY?

At first when the bf told me about what her greatest regret was, I was totally sympathetic as she said her greatest regret was not bringing her parents/mom(I can't be bothered to even remember her exact words) to Universal Studios.

Then I asked him, 'Huh both her parents die already ah?' thinking that they did due to her greatest regret being that. AND HE TOLD ME THAT THEY WERE STILL ALIVE.

WAH PIANG. THEN WHY IS THAT A REGRET?

Ok nevermind I still sided her even after W told me the parents were alive and kicking, AND that she said that when she was interviewed to talk about her greatest regret(OBVIOUSLY FOR THE COUNTRY AND NOT ABOUT YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WANT TO STAND FOR THE ELECTIONS RIGHT).

THEN I SAW THIS:

SERIOUSLY?
SERIOUSLY?

Would you want someone who DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO even SAY to lead your country?
WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF *CHOY* SG HAPPENS TO BE CAUGHT IN A SITUATION?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

Elections

PAP, WP, SDP?

Xav's 17th

2 weeks ago, 16th April :)
Thanks for the invite Xav! Happy belated Birthday hahahaha a bit too late ah.
The only people I knew there were meh, thane, nadoo, melvin and well, xav.
And xav's damn pretty mummy!!!!!!! Seriously like supermodel.

I guess I need to get around to making more friends?
Signing off, nofriendgalgal_93@hotmail.com :(

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SIAO LIAO.