sometimes..

i hate myself.
i shall type in proper english today and cut down
on the 'leh/lor/la/huh/uh' kinda thing since its the english orals tomorrow.

i think i gossip too much sometimes.
guess im just too judgemental about some people when i don't even know them.
today i tried to be nice.
i really tried.
too bad some people* just don't appreciate it.
and mind you, the some people applies to someone from my level.
okay maybe just one particular person.

we didn't really quarrel directly,
as it was my friend who actually had a problem with her*.
i was present, but i didn't say anything about/to her* at that point of time.

yes, after the heated argument with my friend, she* looked at me in a particularly weird kinda way(since then).
not exactly a stare, but yes its about there.
obviously, i gave her* the same look since i couldn't smile when someone 'stares' at me.
now tell me, who can?

so today, while i was on my way to the toilet,
i saw her*.
i don't know why i brought myself to be nice and smile.
i said hi.
guess what.
that 'stare' again.

and she*'s getting along perfectly well with that friend of mine.
just what did i do to make her give me such a stare?!
i don't owe you a living.

sometimes, i really don't know if i should be mean and just give everyone the death stare when they look at me.
especially those that have had some (kind or another) form of misunderstanding between me or my group of friends.
i really want to be nice and leave outram happily this year,
knowing that i'd left some good impression on others, not otherwise.

sometimes i follow the crowd.
and i think i'm like what they say, 'ren yun yi yun'
or 'mei you zhu jian'
since my friends hate (a certain someone), i'll follow suit.
i bet many people around me do that too.
recently i realised i've changed.

i don't feel like disliking anyone anymore,
despite the things they've done.
its really tiring.
when you see the particular someone you hate,
then you go all mean.

after the person passes by,
you go all nicey-nice and laughy with your friends.
FAKE.

note: this is for someone from sec4/5 if you actually read this.
but i think you won't.
if you still think i've something against you(even after you read this), -if you will ever
that's your problem.

i hate your oh-so-haughty attitude.
shits to that!
--
think i just solved a misunderstanding(NOT APPLICABLE TO THE ABOVE)
and i HOPE we won't bear any grudges anymore ^^V
omg im happier alr!
bye!

dang el orals tmr :/
GOD AHHHHHHHHHH