mixed feelings

its the end of SD CF'10 tomorrow...................
on one end i'm happy because it marks the end of gruelling day-to-day submissions(but the start to more chim stuff ugh),
on the other end i'm kinda lost and sorta confused :(

i used to think i wasn't at all close to my classmates but i thought wrong.
i grew to love the class and i'm sure we all became closer as time passed,
encouraging and spurring each other on on msn at the most unearthly hours because we were all online doing work.

looking forward to ID year2 but yet i can't bear to even think that year1's ending so so so soon.
and that before year1 even ends cf's ending.
TOMORROW.

yimogalz93.
anyhoo i really hope everyone turns up!!!!!
i love 56 :>

how would you feel if

A and B were supposed to share a cab with you to a certain place,
and when you rushed home to get ready and you're done,
you call them TO HEAR THEM SAY THEY'VE ALREADY REACHED.
without you yes.

OH AND ALSO WITHOUT INFORMING YOU THEY'D BE MAKING THEIR WAY OVER FIRST.

the point here is not about the cab, but about WHAT THEY SAID.
since you bloody say it you'd better do it.
come on do i even need to say this?

plus i figured out it'd be cost efficient if we actually SHARED the cab fare and split it into 3 so its cheaper.
A + B = 2 people
say cab fare is $9, each person has to pay $4.50.
YOU PAY $1.50 LESS IF IT WERE TO BE SPLIT IN 3.
$1.50 can buy a stick of seaweed chicken ok?!

yes and one of the 2 people mentioned above happens to be someone i really trust and respect.
I GUESS IT ALL BURNS DOWN TO NOTHING SINCE ITS THE 2ND TIME YOU'VE MADE ME THIS PISSED.

and whats with people not answering calls/having others to reply messages directed to them?
THE FORMER REALLY DRIVES ME CRAZY.
if you have a phone you bloody PICK IT UP.
ok i'm really sorry if i sound really harsh and yes i know if you're guilty of it you'll hate me.
BUT SO?
AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO RETURN THE CALL RIGHT?

super slow replies via text, CALL RETURNED AT LEAST BY THE PHONE OWNER'S FRIEND SO THANK GOD, but.

all in all its shit.
i don't think i'm anywhere at fault or i'm being petty.

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?
so much for wanting to blog a nice happy post about my friends.
and the next moment people who i thought were nice friends do this to me.
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa rightttttttttttttttttttt, if you even consider yourself a friend good enough.

8 AM IN THE MORNING

click to enlarge.
this is what bored/sian people do while doing their work last minute.
LIKE SOME SIAO~~~~~~~~~~~~~

wo de di di

unflattering picture of my ahsiao brother(and i :()
sometimes, i just hate you.
sometimes, you irritate the hell outta me i feel like killing myself.
just sometimes, i feel like using my uhu glue to glue your lips together so you would SHUT UP.

but sometimes, i blame myself for not being able to understand you.
for being so immature because you're younger.
and so uncaring and unaccepting because of your boisterious ways.

yes. maybe you're the way you are because you're hearing-impaired.
but i love you all the same, just that i don't show it. honestly.
i choose to show my annoyance because maybe then you'll be afraid and decide to be nice HAHAHA.
and to those who're unaccepting, SHUT UP LA HEARING-IMPAIRED ALSO PEOPLE OK.

and it sucks because when i put myself in your shoes, i know how hard it is for you to express yourself because not everyone would be able to understand you.
i will learn to be nice to you, i really will :(

i really don't know and i don't have confidence in myself.
i don't know if i'd be able to take care of you in the future because you'd definitely need me forever.
one day daddy and mummy would reach retirement stage and that's when i have to take care of you.

i'm not exactly that young girl who just needs to cry and everyone would assure me everything'd be alright as soon as i stop crying.
17th soon. an extra number to my age just means more responsibilities.
doesn't help that i'm the eldest so everything depends on well, me.

i just don't trust myself.................................
i really need to start planning for the future. alone.
financially especially.
i suddenly feel very lost.

because i know my friends and family wouldn't be there for me forever.
and i cannot rely on anyone but myself.
i hope i find that light that leads me outta the tunnel real soon.

X