unflattering picture of my ahsiao brother(and i :()
sometimes, i just hate you.
sometimes, you irritate the hell outta me i feel like killing myself.
just sometimes, i feel like using my uhu glue to glue your lips together so you would SHUT UP.
but sometimes, i blame myself for not being able to understand you.
for being so immature because you're younger.
and so uncaring and unaccepting because of your boisterious ways.
yes. maybe you're the way you are because you're hearing-impaired.
but i love you all the same, just that i don't show it. honestly.
i choose to show my annoyance because maybe then you'll be afraid and decide to be nice HAHAHA.
and to those who're unaccepting, SHUT UP LA HEARING-IMPAIRED ALSO PEOPLE OK.
and it sucks because when i put myself in your shoes, i know how hard it is for you to express yourself because not everyone would be able to understand you.
i will learn to be nice to you, i really will :(
i really don't know and i don't have confidence in myself.
i don't know if i'd be able to take care of you in the future because you'd definitely need me forever.
one day daddy and mummy would reach retirement stage and that's when i have to take care of you.
i'm not exactly that young girl who just needs to cry and everyone would assure me everything'd be alright as soon as i stop crying.
17th soon. an extra number to my age just means more responsibilities.
doesn't help that i'm the eldest so everything depends on well, me.
i just don't trust myself.................................
i really need to start planning for the future. alone.
financially especially.
i suddenly feel very lost.
because i know my friends and family wouldn't be there for me forever.
and i cannot rely on anyone but myself.
i hope i find that light that leads me outta the tunnel real soon.
X
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