mind soliloquy

mundane.
my life is like a straight line.

so boring.
i'm so bored.
so i've become a boring person.
i realise without school its like wasting time.
but with school we get so busy its like time isn't enough.

anyway i went over to chinyi's because christine couldn't make it in the end.
i had my chicken chop hehehe.
and we sang and i was happy.

but now i'm bored and irritated.
nothing's making me feel better.
i feel like talking to my pbts but one's caught up with my brudder in law and the other's out with laidlate.

itching to do something but i don't know what.
i'm guessing its depression.

and i finally know why you didn't want me to stay.
because i wasn't good enough.
didn't know what you wanted from me.
so.......... fuck you.
because everyone/everything was more important than me.
yeah, fuck you a trillion times.
i hope you eat your own shit accidentally.

i don't know why i blame myself for being not good enough and yet i get pissed with you for letting me go when it was i who let go first.
well maybe because i wanted to know if you'd bother by asking me to stay.
all you did was 'can you give me another chance?'

oh yeah how the hell was i supposed to believe you when i gave you countless chances before you even needed to ask?
it was the last straw and you were NEVER sorry(thanks taylor swift).

my god why am i even doing this.
so pointless.
i'm going crazy somebody help.

no wait.
even i can't help myself.
this sucks.
another pointless rant post no one would bother to read.

i'm just typing what's running through my mind now.
ahhhhhhhh just what the fuck is wrong with me.