:D a boyfriend's acknowledgement form

1) APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: __________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: ____
Time of departure: ____
Time of return NOT to exceed: _____

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below.
I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance.
I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) :
Beer ___
Wine ___
Liquor ___
Total ___

Locations to be visited:
From: ____ To: ____
Females with whom conversation is permitted: _____

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE:
Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers.
You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time.
On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet.
In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ____
Request is: APPROVED / DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

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Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: ___ Time of departure: ___
Time of return: ___
Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: _______

2) APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS
Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife: ____
Reason: ___________
Signed: (me) _____________________________


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