bits n pieces

Just went shopping and got myself more knits. Its the in-thing this season I guess, but I've already had similar ones since a year ago, and its still my favourite kinda top. I think its the cosy feeling it gives me when I have it on that I always, always go back to the same thing. What's wrong with wearing the same type of clothes? :-) Awesome comfy comfort clothing hahaha. I'm so un-stylish. I only follow trends if I happen to like them. LOL remember the shoulder pad thing? So fuckin ugly TO ME that I don't have a single clothing that had shoulder pads. Only 1 but I got it after the trend died and the padding isn't obvious at all HAHAHA I am fashion fail.

Speaking about clothes I really need to clear out my wardrobe. Its such a mess and half the things inside I don't even wear them as much anymore. Time to do a cleanout. Need to organise a clothing exchange thing with my girlfriends and hopefully we'll be able to get stuff we all like from each other!

My heart's kind of in a gloomy mood now. Thinking about all the weekly pbt (haha ought to name ourselves better) meetups do make me happy, but thinking about July just makes my mood go down. This year's birthday wouldn't be as special anymore. Just because Tiffy would be halfway around the world. Who's gonna plan Meh's 19th with me? Can't be skype-ing all the way right :-( And I kinda wanna make my 19th a good one just coz my 18th was well-planned by the girls (thank you all mwaaaah) but my heart wasn't in the right state of happiness. Shall start thinking on what to do. Maybe a good dinner will do. :-)

Ah well, Tiff's guaduating in May and of course we'll be going. Hope she gives a graduation speech coz it'd sure be funny to hear her speaking formally in front of a whole audience. How time flies and we're all 19 this year. My bestfriends have both found their passion and they know what to do with their life in the years to come. Me? I'm just wasting my life. I mean, I don't really have a passion? I do, but my passion isn't something I want to work for because I love animals but being a vet isn't a choice coz I can't bring myself to kill them if I have to?

Being a zookeeper isn't exactly a very awesome job too because the zoo is so far away from home and I hate travelling? But maybe, just maybe I'll work there if I have the opportunity to. If its fun who knows, I might just stay there forever hahahahahaha

For now, I'll just pray hard and hope I get accepted into both, then I'll start making my decision again. Its a new chance, and a new start. I will not allow myself to screw up again. :-)

This year 2012, I really hope the real people in my life stay with me, and the fake ones all fuck off. I'm thankful for all that has happened to me in 2011, and the previous years, be it good or not. Life's lessons are there for a reason. If I don't feel sadness I wouldn't cherish my happiness. Although I wish I could only feel happy. I mean, who doesn't?

I guess you don't know what love really means because when you really love someone, nothing they do will make you feel like you can do better. Nothing will make you change your mind.

I'm looking forward to find that someone. That nothing I do will make him change his mind about forever. Somehow..........I don't believe in forever anymore. Yet I have this tiny bit of hope inside. That maybe there is such a thing as a happy ever after. Time will tell, so time, please don't let me down this time. :-)

All that aside, I haven't been much of a good person lately. That has to change. I need to be positive and do some self-improvement. Really determined to live a positive life from now on coz I don't want to live in sorrow. Pui pui pui to sorrow. And my hair doesn't seem to grow. People are asking me if I've been cutting it again BUT I HAVEN'T. Oh god please let my hair grow nice and long I promise not to cut it all short again. :-( And my hair is THINNING OUT coz I've been eating lotsa maggi mee. Walao. Please thicken yourself out and grow longer ok tolong tolong.

Basically I just typed all my thoughts I had recently. This is such a ramble-post. Oh well. I doubt many check this space out since its literally dead and the only people that tag are the advertisers/robots. Meow its okay. Looking forward to the future. I'll be brave. And I'll be good. FRESH START FTW!!!