Differences

Old picture. Like 4 days old or something haha. Just to make sure no one forgets how I look like. Ok I'm being lame again.............. Anyway.

Today I saw this video, like a snippet of some bollywood movie and there's this dude complaining about girls in 5 minutes. Makes me kinda angry? Idk not angry. Like I feel like its unfair. Shall just blog it all out. Some things, I realise, I observe in my parents too. Time to speak up for the girls.

Firstly guys say that Love is all about happiness and fun and laughter. Yes, it is. But then they say that after they get into a relationship all its about is the woman's happiness. Why? I mean. You should have already known that getting into a relationship is a commitment and its all about sharing ALL emotions together no???? That includes disagreements because no 2 people get along perfectly fine, and if they do, its a problem because its almost impossible to not quarrel with anyone. If you don't, its simply because you 2 are not close enough.

Then he complains that the girl wants to get a table. But she goes out and ends up getting bedroom slippers instead of a table and so, she continues to ramble about not getting a table. What he probably missed out is that.........without her, he would have NO BEDROOM SLIPPERS, and NO ONE TO REMEMBER TO GET A TABLE FOR THEIR CONVENIENCE.

See, girls do things but keep complaining about it. They still do it though, because the point of a girlfriend/wife is to love the guy and obviously take care of him too? That's why she always nags and complains. She does that because THE MEN DON'T LISTEN. That's why she has to repeat and repeat in hopes of the man getting up to actually do something.

One thing I really hate about girls. Seriously we complain too much and we don't even realise it. And when we do things for good intentions we often get misunderstood. Because to the guys it may seem like we never shut up/never do certain things. Fact is that we don't tell you guys every single thing we do because we don't have to. As long as we get it done, and its done, why tell? We put in effort not because we expect something back (sometimes we do, not everytime though). We put in effort because we think you're worth it. And we don't want you guys to love us just because we do some things and TELL you about them. If you realise it, then its good especially if we get praised HAHA, but if you don't, its okay too. We didn't want to let you know anyway.

I realise a lot of quarrels happen for the same reasons everywhere. And that's because the problems are never really solved. Especially when you choose to talk when both of the people are still angry. I used to always walk away. I had a reason for that, and he always thought it was an excuse. Truth is, if I am angry, nothing I say will turn out to be nice. Right? And that will just in turn make you even more pissed and angry. So we quarrel again. Problem not solved, both more angered than before. What's the point?

I chose to walk away but I got blamed for it. I don't mean I am right, but in my opinion, I always thought it was better to settle the problems when things are chilled instead of trying to solve it straight away when both people think the other is wrong. Of course he had his reasons too, because he believes that things should be solved right away instead of him being left behind alone again. I tried to compromise. I stood there and kept quiet while he talked to me. Then, I got blamed again. For ignoring him.

I guess this is the difference between guys and girls. And we'll never really learn how to solve it unless one of us gives in, meaning either I talk while I'm angry, or he leaves me alone till I cool down. Its my fault for not cooling down quick enough to talk about it on the spot, but its also his fault for expecting me to talk nicely while I'm angry. We never really talked about it, but just ignored it and continued walking away (me), and being angry and left alone (him). This was one of the reasons why it had to end.

Another reason was because of the constant breaking of promises. I always mentioned 'break-up' when I was miffed because it was so suffocating. This led to him thinking that he was unimportant to me because I always brought it up even when I said I wouldn't anymore. Of course I had a reason, but he always thought of it as an excuse. Of course. We're different. For this case though, we had the same thoughts. But when I wanted to explain, it was already too late because he just simply didn't want me in his life anymore.

He told me once, 'why must it always be at the breaking point that you finally want to do something about it?'. This, my dear, is also the same reason to why I keep mentioning that I'm about to give up. So you understand that its my breaking point and finally make the decision to listen to what I have to say. To him I was always blaming him even when he wasn't at fault. To me I was just explaining and although I blame him all the time, I NEVER denied that I had no faults. Truth was that I knew that when 2 people quarrel, it was always 2 people that made a mistake together. We both made each other unhappy so we both have to take the shit from each other. Then talk about the problem after both people are chilled, and settle it once and for all. That's only right.

Honestly speaking, I don't see why we've came to this. I don't know why he chose to give us up just because he couldn't understand why I did some things the way I did. I guess guys only see and judge from the way they think it is? They keep quiet and don't ask. So they take it the way they themselves see it. Whereas girls, we assume and get angry and probe all the way. And that is seen as nagging and scolding to the guys. Because they themselves don't do that. And maybe its a good thing haha.

Another thing about guys is that when they encounter a really big problem they just leave it be. And let it get worse. And when the girls tries to solve it, it seems irritating because he already gave up and he has chosen to ignore all the existing problems because to him its a hassle to solve it even if he realises you're right. And also because he wants to save 'face' he won't change his decision about breaking up. We all know how we don't like to admit to our mistakes sometimes. As girls we're really stubborn so we just keep trying and trying until he pisses off because all he wants is a clean break from an annoying girl he doesn't love anymore.

Sometimes I feel that the effort I put in behind his back is all wasted. Because he never got to know and I didn't want to tell him. Until he gave up. Then I told him some of the things I've done but it was all too late because he just didn't give a fuck anymore. There are more things I did but I never told him up till this date. But I guess I shouldn't be bringing it up anymore because so what if he knew? Nothing would change anyway so I should really just shut up.

Sometimes I think people treat relationships too lightly. They get into it thinking its all gonna be fun and games without any rain or storm. Then they give up and inflict pain on the other because they realise its not that easy to keep up with it. Then they go out and find someone else to realise that the same problem occurs. And then they stay on with the person because they know that it happens all the time. Without realising that they hurt the previous one so much because they didn't know it yet. And we also tend to take the ones we love for granted. To me, a relationship is just like having another family member. You bicker all the time and take each other for granted, but in the end? You realise that he/she is not your family member because there is zero blood relation, and thus, the person can leave you without any doubts once he/she has had enough. How are we going to find someone that will never leave us? How do we know if there is someone out there that is willing to give his/her all just to be with us?

So many differences between girls and guys and there will never be a closure because these things are up to the 2 people. Whether they are strong enough for the many tests they have to pass to finally deserve Happiness. I guess I was never worth the time and effort to be understood more. Because I was never enough. Never pretty enough, never skinny enough, never smart enough. I was never good enough.

So now I just have to concentrate on improving myself to be enough for me. If I'm not good enough for me, I'll never be good enough for anyone else. :-)

Also because of this, I realise I don't have any faith in anything or anyone anymore. I hope I'll be fine someday.

"It's not that I'm stubborn. From the start I had just wished and hoped so hard that you could be the one thing I could finally count on. This is why its so hard to give up."