Thankful i decided to help myself up this time. Yeah at times (actually most of the time) i'll be missing you, thinking of you but i know.. Theres no us anymore.. Just because you say so of course. If you think you'll be happier this way then alright i'll give in to you. But if you ever say its because you want to see me happy... Um.. no. I was fucking miserable without you and i dont think i'm going to be partying my ass off because I lost you. Only you can make me feel the way no one else did before.
You've given me best days to remember, you've made me the happiest girl I've ever been. This year you've worn me down to my lowest, to the point I really wanted to give up. When the pain of losing you was enough for me to even contemplate suicide because living was too painful for me. To the point where I could forget about everything because all I ever wanted was to have someone like you, and I found you, but I lost you. You gave me both the best and worst days of my life and you should be proud of it...... At least now you know someone is going to remember you for a long LONG time for the good and the bad reasons haha.
Not going to hope 2012 is going to get any better. I'm just going to go one step at a time to find myself again..I'll never have enough questions to ask, words to say to you. But when i see you all i want to do is to give you a hug..... Seriously.. I can't even bring myself to hate you even if i wanted to.. If i had 1 wish for Christmas I'd tell the genie to erase you off my life. Memories, name, everything. Even the happy memories.. You're just too much for me.
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